Saturday, July 25, 2009

Little Britain

A very dear old friend and I have had a long, on-going debate about whose home town is the most depressing: his or mine. He is from Luton and I like to point out that at least Luton has an airport so that you can escape somewhere far away and exotic. My home town has the number 82 bus to West Bromwich or the number 87 to Dudley in one direction or to Birmingham in the other, depending on whether you want to see animals in the zoo or animals drunk and falling over curb stones. However, I think my friend may just have won the argument hands down by sending me the following extract from a deeply depressing discussion that occurred during a recent visit to his mum (who is absolutely lovely, by the is a lot of Birmingham...actually)

Step Dad: You wouldn't like Luton today. What do you think of it?

Son: Thinks he knows what's coming,tries to divert conversation: I wouldn't know, I only travelled through.

Step Dad (looking hot): Its all bloody WOGS.

Mum, quietly: Love, you can't ...Love...

Step Dad, warming to his subject: No, I speak my mind: WOGS. We had one at the door the other day. Terrorists! (which is his new word for them)

Mum to Son, desperate: If you invite them in do you think they take their shoes off, or is that only in one of them Muslim houses?

Step Dad: Terrorists you mean....

Rude Food

Is it a bird? Is it...

Bang goes my application to Artful Blogger...

I ask you, could anyone else have a tomato like this growing in their garden? Oh well, might as well get the tone lowered here sooner rather than later. These photos were hastily snapped on my mobile and I have refrained from artifying them, opting for a Blog Veritie stylee. You are...ahem... more than welcome to use them in any of your artworks, should your requirements run to erotic veg. Kimmie, you could add it to your on-going challenge artwork! Marsha, I expect to see it sporting a pointy hat and wings by the end of the week.
Heaven only knows what will happen when it reaches puberty...

Friday, July 24, 2009

Welcome Freebies

My bible at the moment

Essential kit

Welcome to my new blog! This is the place where I intend to share a few of my other obsessions some of which are vegetable gardening (and related pursuits such as slug-slaying, compost making and muck spreading), tea drinking, taking photographs of lost gloves; collecting old and often slightly manky ephemera and photographs.  
As a small welcome gift, I would like to offer the garden-related  items above. Please download them and use them in your artwork (with an appropriate credit).  If you use them, I'd love to see what you've created so do leave  a link here so that I can have a look. I'm new to offering freebies and hope that the size and resolution will be ok.

That's all for now, short and sweet. Thanks for dropping by!